Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
