Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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