White coat. Heels.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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