Redeem this text for a blowjob
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
