Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
