My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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