I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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