i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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