tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
