mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
