apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
