she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
