I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
