She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you š
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Heās older
Like āhas a job and pays his billsā older or āstill watches porn on DVD because he canāt figure out the Internetā older?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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