All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
