Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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