dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
