I don't usually arrange sex via text message
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My dick has a subreddit
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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