He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize