it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
