new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
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