I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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