Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
