these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
