R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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