Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just found a bag of teeth...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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