Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
