Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i permit you to call me
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Randomize
