How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
