Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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