They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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