Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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