Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
