I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
