absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
