I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize