Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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