She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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