i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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