Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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