great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
