that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
PS: I just woke up from my shower
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
