i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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