Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
