I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
