Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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