Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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