Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
