Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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