New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
