are you so shy because you have an std?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
