How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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