Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
