i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
