I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
