Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
