the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
