well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize